How to deal with a dominating partner

You find yourself trapped in a push-and-pull relationship with a person who is a controlling force and dominates your every decision. What do you do in such a scenario? 

Living with a controlling or dominating partner can be extremely frustrating; especially when you are in love with that person and chances of moving out on him or her is out of the question. A spouse who loves to control your life is either insecure about losing you or simply love bossing you around. This behavior can often turn abusive and troublesome as time flows. Relationships which are based on domination may last for a lifetime, but they fail to mature into true love and romance. Such relationships lead nowhere.

How to cope with this kind of behaviour
Do not ignore this behaviour: Once you start ignoring this behaviour of your partner, they feel that you are okay with them controlling your life and will start tormenting you all the more. 

Be clear and assertive: 
Ensure you let your partner know that you do not appreciate his/her bossy behaviour. Most controlling partners respond to those who stand up to them and fight back. You should deal with them head on and never leave things unresolved. Says Minnu Bhonsle, relationship expert, "Be clear and assertive while you are communicating to your partner. Let him/her know that it is okay for them to express concern, but not go overboard with it." 

Stop giving in to everything: 

To stop your partner from controlling you, you have to stop giving in to everything he/she wants you to do. Ensure that you tell them that you can take some decisions in your life on your own. Once you let your partner enter every aspect of your life, he/she will automatically start controlling you. 

Work on your relationship mutually:

If you feel that your partner is not understanding, it is better to work on this relationship before it starts falling apart. You can discuss the issue and come up with ways to better your bond. 

Seek help from family, friends or an expert: If you are wary of how your partner might react if you tell him or her directly that you do not like their dominating and over-possessive ways, ask your family or friends to talk to them about the same. If you feel that you should not disclose your partner's behaviour in front of your family and friends, seek professional help.

How To Deal With Dominating Partner  

fear of lossing someone you love is a common fear.(or somehing happening to someone you love.) These fears comes from a great love. The fear is love. But once you realize the love, and take action on that, there is no point to the fear. Fear is immobilizing, love is energizing.

Remember, the biological reason for fear is to get us to act, after the action, the fear is pointless. (Worse than pointless, as it hurts you.)

In this article, I am going to share something that will hopefully change this fear. At first, we fear losing something because everything is impermanent. Everything changes. But there is one thing important we neglect when we fear impermanence. Here it is:

Even Loss is Impermanent

This, too, passes.

Old friends reconnect, forgive. A late mother’s adages are remembered. Memories of connection come to our minds. And many of us believe in an afterlife where we will join our loved ones again.

In this tangled web of life, we are all connected. Our minds, hearts and souls are in sync with the world around us. When we are not connected to that world–when we feel separate–it is often expressed in mental health problems.

Anxiety, anger and depression come from a sense of disconnection. Anxietymakes us afraid of where we are are going; that we could lose something, miss an opportunity, or be inadequate. It makes us fear losing someone we love. We have to think we are separate, or different, to feel this way. Depression makes us feel bereft, isolated, left out, unloved and like we don’t belong anywhere–separate. Anger comes from a sense of injustice that happened to us–it stems from an “us-them” mentality.

All of these are in our mind. We create a world where we are separate and don’t belong, and victimized and then we feel worse and worse. Where, in reality, this makes us blind to the love we do have in our lives, blind to the people who care about us, and blind to our own contributions in life. This is lose-lose.

Take Action. Reduce Fear

There are many ways to take action instead of being immobilized by fear. For example: spend time with the person, tell them you love them, show them you love them, keep them company, offer them help, and thank them. All of these actions will help you feel more connected and lessen the fear.

Fear of Losing Someone You Love

If we remembered that we are connected, our hearts would warm and our grief would ease. When we bring to mind the unbreakable bonds between us and a loved one, as well as the influence those have had on our life, the fear of loving someone you love would decrease.

People are afraid it is too late. It is never too late. Even if someone dies–the relationship–the influence goes on, and so we can do something. As long as the “relationship” is there, we can mold it, and make new meaning around it. (Meaning that includes connection rather than loss. Meaning that includes positive self identity of love and caring.)

This makes all the difference in how we feel: bereft or connected.